we are home from the hospital after losing our sweet baby Liam. the process lasted 2 days... 6/16/09 and 6/17/09. Liam was diagnosed with dandy walker brain malformation 3 weeks ago, and we left no stone unturned looking for a thread of hope, but it was not to be. My brave wonderful daughter was injected in Liam's umbilical cord and he left us. She delivered him at dawn on wednesday and we got to hold and kiss him goodbye. She is trying so hard to be strong, but this was her beloved much wanted first child and my first grandchild and all we have now are pictures of us holding him. Liam was with us for 21 weeks and 2 days. Does this pain ever go away?
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my heart is broken
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 liamsgramma |
my heart is broken |
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Posts: 2 06/18/09 07:37 |
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nene0572 |
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AHC Expert
Posts: 1183 06/19/09 10:31 AHC Veteran |
(Living children & sub baby mentioned)
Liamsgramma~ I just noticed this post, sorry it has taken so long for a response. I hate to say this because I know none of us wanted to hear this in the early days, but time will heal you. It's a long journey that you never get to end, but it does get much easier. It's been 3 yrs. 2 mos since I said my good byes to my precious 3rd son. I had 2 living sons when we got the news that he was incomplatible with life. No person should have to hear that their baby is sick, will have problems or will die/not live. I've gone on to have another healthy baby boy that turned 2 in March and is the light of all our lives. Having your support is one of the best things you can be doing for your daughter. Like you my own mother was there for the delivery and held my angel son and said goodbye with my husband and I. If your daughter hasn't done so yet, have her send in her info and join our private boards. It really has been my lifeline the past 3 years. Wishing your family strength and peace during this difficult time.
{{{{{HUGS}}}}}
Renee' Mommy to Zeb Michael born to heaven 4-10-06 due to Multicystic Dysplastic Kidneys/No Amniotic Fluid |
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granmeg |
Time Helps | #2 | ||
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AHC Board Regular
Posts: 24 06/20/09 07:40 AHC Board Regular |
Dear Kathie,
Having been on that road, I know how difficult everything is for all of you right now. My daughter made AHC almost 4 years ago now. Just know that you are not alone, take the time you need to cry and mourn - there is NO time limit. do some o\f the things that will help you deal with the loss - release balloons, plant a tree, write to him. I spent time listening and crying with my daughter. She knew she could call me and I would stop and listen. Father's Day will be rough for all of you, but you will get through it. Time does heal, I promise. My daughter is still connected to the private boards here. The private section was her lifeline. Hugs from Granmeg. |
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christian23 |
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AHC Expert
Posts: 227 06/21/09 01:01 |
Liamsgramma - I'm so sorry you have reason to be here. The road ahead is long, but your daughter and you will get through it.
It is wonderful you were able to be there for your daughter when she needed you the most. And I'm sure you will be a continued souce of strength for her and her husband/partner. I know I appreciated every phone call from my mum and sisters in the weeks after. Just knowing that they saw our son as a real baby, just as we did, was a real comfort. If your daughter hasn't joined already, please encourage her to join these boards. Since January, when I lost my son Christian, this site and the other people here have truly been my lifeline. It helps so much to be able to talk with other people who have the same thoughts, feelings and fears. Good luck to you and your daughter on your journeys.
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healingheart |
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AHC Veteran
Posts: 22 06/21/09 07:58 |
Hi liamsgramma,
I'm so sorry you and your family are going through this journey. It is definitely not easy & time does help, though the amount of time it takes to lessen the pain varies so much from person to person. Please continue to be available for your daughter & keep the lines of communication open. I'm so proud that you were with your daughter at the hospital when she delivered. My mother, father, & stepmother were with me & my husband when I delivered our angel. It really meant so much to me that they supported us in our decision. We too have photos of everyone holding Christopher, which mean the world to me. It is tremendously helpful that my parents understand our loss. I understand their loss as well; they lost their grandson. We are all grieving. I do hope your daughter will join this site, if she hasn't already. As others have mentioned, it has definitely been my lifeline. Peace & ((((hugs)))) to you and your family!
^Christopher^ 5/27/09 T21 @ 22.2w
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Kay0617 |
Same Situation | #5 | ||
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AHC Veteran
Posts: 2 06/22/09 08:32 |
Hi liamsgramma,
My situation is the same as your daughter's, although a different diagnosis. My beautiful son Kaycie was diagnosed prenatally at 18 weeks with Trisomy 13/ Holoprosencephaly. In fact, my dates are the exact same as your daughters. I was induced on Tuesday June 16th and delivered on Wednesday June 17th at 2:30pm. This was my first baby as well. I don't know if things get easier, all I know is that one month ago I belonged to an online pregnancy board eagerly anticipating the birth of my first child, and now somehow I've ended up on a board for online support for the loss of a child. If your daughter is feeling anything like me, she's looking for that outstretched hand in the dark that tells her she is not alone. Also, like me she is new to the grieving process. She may also be questioning whether she has it in her to try again with another baby and the whole host of problems that go along with that. We have not only lost a child, but we have also lost our blissful innocence that pregnancy is a joyful and happy time. I hope time makes things better, but right now the only comfort that is to be found is that you (and your daughter) are not alone. Please let her know this and encourage her to join. I'd love to chat with her since our stories are so similar. K. |
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mimi |
my heart is with you | #6 | ||
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AHC Board Regular
Posts: 22 06/23/09 07:31 Newcomer |
dear liamsgranma, I am there with you. I am so so sorry for your loss of little liam! All I can say to you is that the pain WILL become easier to bear. My
daughter and son-in-law lost their much wanted first pregnancy at Christmas, 2005. We went to Dr. Tiller's clinic in Wichita (now closed). There she gave
birth to our little Eli, our first grandson, and then had him baptized and said "goodbye". We were devastated. It is so very hard to see your
children suffering so much and not be able to take it away. All we can do is be with them through it....cry with them...and listen,listen, listen.....even
when it cuts into our own hearts. My daughter now has a beautiful healthy little girl and hopes for more children. But there will always be the one who
isn't there. If you want to contact me privately (if that is possible) I will send you a long piece I wrote about our experience. All I can say is that the
suffering we endure with this loss does seem to open us more to the suffering of others who often carry pain we cannot see. Being more sensitive to the hurt of
others is a blessing I believe. Peace and love to you and your family, Mimi
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Kageinc |
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AHC Board Regular
Posts: 6 07/01/09 08:30 |
Thank you everyone! Thanks for this post mom. As you know I'm trying very hard to be strong. But I miss my son deeply. You have remained by my side through
everything and I don't know how I would be doing with out you. I love you!
I'm so sorry for everyones losses. This tragedy affects the most beautiful people. My prayers are with you, your families and your angels! |
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Kageinc |
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AHC Board Regular
Posts: 19 07/06/09 06:27 |
I will remain by your side as long as you need me.. I love you and miss Liam more than anyone will ever know.
Missing my angel baby ^Liam Christopher^ 6-16-09 21w 2d (Dandy Walker Malformation & Hydrocephalus)
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Kageinc |
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AHC Board Regular
Posts: 20 07/07/09 01:03 |
lol Mom u were logged in under my account!!
Missing my angel baby ^Liam Christopher^ 6-16-09 21w 2d (Dandy Walker Malformation & Hydrocephalus)
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carriem |
Im so sorry | #10 | ||
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Newcomer
Posts: 1 11/04/09 12:34 |
I am so, so sorry for your loss. My baby boy was diagnosed in September with spina bifida and I did the same thing. I feel terrible
about it and my Husband wanted to end the pregnancy more than I did. I am having a hard time living with this every day, the guilt is extreme. It is so very
painful and no Mother or family should ever have to go through this. I am deeply sorry and you are truly in my prayers and thoughts so much at this time.
God be with you and heal you, Carrie |
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