EDD approaches

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granmeg	EDD approaches		Lead	[-]
AHC Board Regular Posts: 23 11/26/05 02:12 AHC Board Regular	Tags : None As my daughter's edd approaches, I find myself greiving all over again. Oh how we wanted that baby girl. I have been making 'Angel" blankets which I hope to deliver to my gynecologist before Haley's due date. If I can help one other person out there, it will give me something to hang on to. I am also making plans for that date to try and 'let go'. It's time to put Haley's blanket, bonnet and mittens away. Made with love but never used. I am thankful for this site, as she has met some wonderful mothers who have helped her. Only one who has walked the path can truly understand. I'd like to know how the other grandmpthers are doing?
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karablack4(d)	Re: EDD approaches	#1	[url]	[-]
Posts: 225 11/28/05 03:24	Granmeg, I am so sorry that you have to be here with us. I tx'd Aug 11th and found my edd was horrible. The weeks aproaching were an emotional roller coaster. Things are begining to subside. I wish I could share with you how my mother is handling this but unfortunatly she wont talk about it. I figure that is her way of dealing(or not dealing) with a painful situation that she has no control over. She was so excited about the new baby and talked about her all the time until we found out there was a problem. Then she wouldnt talk about it at all. Just know you are not alone and we all are here for you even though we are not the grandparents. lots of love to you Kara
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3sons	Re: EDD approaches	#2	[url]	[-]
AHC Veteran Posts: 725 11/28/05 04:45	Hi Granmeg, I wish I had some way to ease the intense grief that the approaching EDD brings. I know your missing your granddaughter badly and it hurts. I found the lead up to my son's edd very difficult but the actual day not as bad as I thought it would be. My Mum didn't remember/acknowledge my son's edd....in fact she wants to pretend nothing happened. It is beautiful the support you have given your daughter and shows just what a special relationship you have and Hayley would feel that from both of you. I cannot even begin to imagine how painful it must be to support your grieving daughter while at the same time grieving the loss of your granddaughter. Sending you lots of love and peace Meg
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summer93	Re: EDD approaches	#3	[url]	[-]
AHC Veteran Posts: 2253 11/28/05 05:06	Hi, I would like to say one very important thing. The fact that you are still grieving your granddaughter must mean SO MUCH to your daughter. So many in our families move on so quickly and easliy and we are left isolated, alone in our grief. When others tell us to "move on" and "get over it", we know they have no idea. I hope that you are also finding some peace and support in your own grief. You will have that grandchild one day soon. I'm sorry we don't have grandparents on AHC who can give you more insight into how they are handling their grief. I had teetered back and forth on whether or not to write to you here. I had hoped that other grandparents were perhaps lurking and would respond to your post. The fact that you are perhaps the only grandparent here attests to what a wonderful mother/grandmother you are! Your daughter is very lucky. Beth
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jore29	Re: EDD approaches	#4	[url]	[-]
AHC Veteran Posts: 5942 11/28/05 07:10 Admin	Dear Granmeg: I did not have the luxury of having parents who would support me in my decision. Indeed, they would have judged me terribly, and to have that on top of my grief would have been more than I could bear. So I never even let them know I was expecting, since I knew I had a high risk of abnormalities due to my age. You are wonderful to have supported your daughter so strongly in this, and I am sure she appreciates it greatly. And while all the focus is on us parents, and especially mothers, after such a tragedy, we know that it must be terribly hard on family members who awaited our babies with so much love and excitement only to have their hopes and dreams dashed, too. My due date is coming up as well - the 1st of December. I don't know how I will feel on that day. I wish I had people in my family to turn to. I wish you and your family peace on that day, and that you will be able to support and uplift each other as you commemorate this tragic day, which should have been full of joy. JoRe
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Dana	Re: EDD approaches	#5	[url]	[-]
AHC Veteran Posts: 1632 11/28/05 07:23 AHC Veteran	Hi Granmeg, How lucky your daughter is to have such a wonderful mother. My mom supported our decision to tx when we did. I am thankful for that. I don't know what it will be like when our EDD approaches (in April), but I suspect it will be most profoundly felt by me. I wish I felt close enough with my family to have their support through that time. Your daughter is very fortunate. I wish you both peace and the strength to say good-bye, again.
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BR819	Re: EDD approaches	#6	[url]	[-]
AHC Veteran Posts: 2946 11/28/05 09:42	Granmeg, I am so sorry for your loss. What a wonderful mother you are to be able to comprehend that even though you and your daughter both grieve the loss of Hayley the grief is very different for both of you. How important it is for her to know that you also miss Hayley and your oppurtunity to be a grandmother to her. As you have read from previous post many of us have not been so lucky to have supportive families, I unfortunately am one ot them. Cherish your daughter as Hayley's edd approaches, our families support is very important. I hope you can find comfort in comforting your daughter. Wishing you peaceful days.... Brenda You have a very special daughter.
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platanitus	Re: EDD approaches	#7	[url]	[-]
AHC Veteran Posts: 263 11/28/05 10:52 AHC Veteran	Dear Granmeg, I also have to say that you are such a great mom. Your daughter must find comfort knowing that you understand how she feels and that you also acknowledge Hayley's existence. I had my tx at the end of April of this year and can tell you that my mom was always with me, despite the distance (I live in Seattle and she lives in Mexico City!) We were always talking on the phone and everything that I was feeling, she was feeling. At one point I even felt worse for my mom thinking: I am only worrying about my baby, but she is worrying about her granddaugther and about me! She has given me so much strength as I'm sure you're giving your daughter. Lots of love to you and may the two of you find strength in each other, Tanya
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rowdysmama	Re: EDD approaches	#8	[url]	[-]
AHC Veteran Posts: 1321 11/29/05 02:04 AHC Veteran	Granmeg... I am so sorry for your loss of your dear Hayley, and for the upcoming EDD. My mom was devastated when we lost Rowdy back in May. She too started knitting layette sets for other families who go through ahc's. It was her way of coping. Rowdy is her 8th grandbaby and her first loss. She doesnt talk about him as much anymore, but I know she misses him. My dad (he and my mom are divorced) was also completely torn apart with Rowdy's passing. Rowdy was his first 'biological' grandbaby. Both my parents, as well as the rest of my family have been a great support to me, and I think the main reason, is that they were all looking forward to the baby of the family finally having a baby. I am glad that you are able to be such a great support to your daughter to, as this is a time of grief for the WHOLE family. Hugs and tissues Beth ^Rowdy^05/19/05
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MB214	Re: EDD approaches	#9	[url]	[-]
AHC Veteran Posts: 3385 11/29/05 05:58 AHC Veteran	Dear Granmeg, I am so sorry for the loss of your Hayley. I would like to agree with the PPs that say how lucky your daughter is to have you. I lost my mother to lung cancer last year and have felt so lost without her these past few months. I know she would have supported me and grieved with me and helped to soothe and heal me and my broken heart just as you are doing for your daughter. You may feel helpless right now, but please know that the simple act of supporting and loving your daughter right now is HUGE and will go farther to help her than you can even imagine. I've noticed that grandparents aren't very active on this board right now, so I'll try to let you know how my angel son's grandparents are handling this (in answer to your question.) While I can't really answer for my father, I can tell you that he is not handling the loss of our much wanted baby very well. He lives several hours away and also feels helpless when it comes to my grief. He still cries when we speak on the phone and I sometimes feel like I am supporting him through this every bit as much as he is supporting me. My mother-in-law is staying with us right now and she is a rock. She supported me and my DH and is a great example of how strong a woman can be. I plan on leaning on her as my own EDD nears. We'll all be thinking of you and your daughter and Hayley on their EDD. You sound like a wonderful mother and you will be such a great grandmother. We should all be so lucky. (I bet a few of us wouldn't mind being cerimoniously cyber-adopted by you.) Hugs to you, Mary
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AandAangel	Re: EDD approaches	#10	[url]	[-]
AHC Veteran Posts: 1516 11/29/05 06:13	Dear Gandmeg, Just wanted you to know that we are thinking of you....Losing a baby is so hard for everyone in a family...I am so glad that you post here and other have reached out...I love the idea of your angel blankets...What a beautiful tribute...Your daughter is so lucky to have you.....So many times I think family memebers just want you to get over the loss or dont really comprehend the sadness you feel....What a wonderful grandmother you are going to make to her children becuase it will happen....I think it is great that you are making plans to let go....Think of it not as letting go but lessining the grief a little....She will always be apart of you....I have found that as I do things to remember my Anton it makes the journey a little easier.... Wishing you peace in your heart and stregnth as that day appoaches..... Lots of love, Mollie
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granmeg	RE: EDD Approaches	#11	[url]	[-]
AHC Board Regular Posts: 23 11/29/05 07:58 AHC Board Regular	Thank you all for your support. Today I received a beautiful email from my daughter and I know she has plans for her EDD, as do I. She is a wonderful, strong woman who has overcome so much. She knew I was hurting, and graciously acknowledged my support. I am very fortunate to have such a wonderful daughter, as well as many good friends who understand the necessity of making the choice so many of you have made. I wish I could adopt all of you and give you whatever support you need. Please believe you are ALL in my thoughts and prayers. Each of you has shown such remarkable courage. I wish all of you a year of health and happiness in 2006. Thanks for being there. Take care of each other all you AHC moms. Love, Margaret
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boobookittyx3	Re: RE: EDD Approaches	#12	[url]	[-]
AHC Veteran Posts: 1796 11/30/05 10:28 Moderator	Your family is so lucky to have such a kind and loving member. Too often it is forgotten that the pain goes beyond just the mother. I am so sorry for your loss. Your blankets will be such a touching gift to someone in pain. Many hugs
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gakg	Re: RE: EDD Approaches	#13	[url]	[-]
AHC Veteran Posts: 224 11/30/05 11:40 AHC Veteran	granmeg, I am sorry for your loss. I hope you are able to get through edd as peacefully as possible. You are so lucky to have each other and be there for each other. That is really special. hugs g
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AlizahMyAngel	Re: RE: EDD Approaches	#14	[url]	[-]
AHC Veteran Posts: 190 11/30/05 05:33 AHC Veteran	Granmeg, I am so sorry for your loss and wish I was as lucky to have shared my edd grief with my mom but it was forgotten as in to be as of no importance after my ahc but I still remember the edd . You and your daughter are very lucky to have each other.
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vkip	Re: EDD approaches	#15	[url]	[-]
AHC Veteran Posts: 659 12/01/05 12:55 AHC Veteran	I am so impressed that you posted on this website. I think when the whole family grieves then they can really heal together. If the loss is not talked about, then it stays as a sore forever. My mother is going through her own tragedy right now although it has been going on for 6 years. She and my father are divorcing and there is no settlement yet. I feel that I have to protect her by really not revealing all my pain because I don't want her to fall apart either. She also is so obsessed about her problems that she puts those on me too. Anyway, I applaude you! I am so sorry for your loss and for Karen's. I am actually in a support group with her here in NYC and I think you have an increadibly strong daughter. Take care Pascale AHC 10/9/05
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kdwa	Re: EDD approaches	#16	[url]	[-]
Newcomer Posts: 13 12/02/05 01:20	Granmeg - You and your daughter are so very lucky to have each other. I'm sure that even when you both are grieving for yourselves, you both still get strength from knowing that each other is there. I only wish I could share that experience with my own mother. I tx'd just a few weeks back at 13 weeks, and my parents didn't even know about the pregnancy yet. We found out about our diagnosis on the week that we were going to be announcing our happy news. We made the decision to keep quiet about everything both to protect ourselves and to shield them from additional sorrow, but sometimes it's so very hard to not be able to share this with them. I hope you and your daughter to continue to find strength and love in each other. I'm so sorry for your loss. kd
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mimi	Re: EDD approaches	#17	[url]	[-]
Newcomer Posts: 15 03/09/06 09:53 Newcomer	Hi! I read so many of the responses to granmeg and was very touched. It sounds like there are not very many of us grandmas on this sight. My daugher's due date would have been March 19, 2006 so it is coming right up. We are going to see her this weekend. I think she will spend the actual day with her husband. I would love suggestions about what to do on that day from Granmeg. It has not been easy.
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