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Hi Mimi,

I am so sorry you are here. I know how upsetting this is for your whole family. I wish there was a way to take away the pain, but each of us deals with the loss in our own way. Ypur daughter and son-in -law are fortunate to have good support. It certainly helps them and you too.

I too faced the edd with some trepidation. Fortunatly, I am surrounded by understanding friends.

I did mark my daughter's edd, what was to be Hayley's birthday in my own special way. I had been knitting 'Afghans for Angels' almost from the time of my daughter's termination. partly as a healing measure for me. Proir to the edd, I delivered them to my gynecologist for use in their practice for mothers who terminate by L&D or even really preemie babies who might not make it. I HAD to deliver those blankets before the edd.

On Hayley's edd, I packed up her baby blanket, mittens and bonnet I had knit for her, as well as a note I wrote to her. I had received a loveley note from my neighbor and it's in her box. I also took the time that morning to pen another note to my darling 'Becca.

I had ordered a balloon -just a chld's birthday balloon - and had Hayley and 12-5 put on it. My husband and I took that balloon to a high spot in Valley Forge Park and together we let it go. When I came home, I put the rock weight into her box as well.

Because my daughter and son-in-law live in New York, and Central Park is a big part of their lives, I arranged through the Central Park Conservancy, to have daffodils planted in Hayley's memory. The certificaate is also in her box.

As requested, I had a glass of wine in her honor that night.

Mimi, I encourage you mark the day in some way that is meaningful for you. This all still really hurts to write this (through the tears), but my daughter and I have both found wonderful support here.

I am still knitting my afghans, and I have more to deliver.

I also have an 'Angel' pin I got from a site called 'Carla's Angels'. I wore it a lot around that time and when I feel the need, I take it out and wear it on my lapel.

I hope you find the peace that comes from knowing you are not alone. Some day, your daughter wll have a healthy baby. I have 2 grandsons. Hayley was to be our first granddaughter.

I'll keep you and your family in my thoughts and prayers.
Love Granmeg

B,

I am so sorry for your loss. I know how heartbreaking this all is for you and your family. I am glad some of the threads here have been helpful to you in planning for what lies ahead. Each of us goes through this whole grieving process in our own way, and sometimes the tears just keep coming.

I have found that sometimes I give myself permission to 'wallow' evey once in a while. After a time, the tears are gone and I feel better.

Your daughter is fortunate to have such good support. So many others do not have anyone they can trust to help them. I remember my daughter calling and I would just listen and cry with her. It isn't fair, but neither is life.

I have a wonderful group of friends who were always there for me and that helped, as did my knitting. In the last 9 months, I have given away 9 baby blankets - only one was not made by me. And each time, I cry a little, knowing how these blankets will be used. I only hope I can give some comfort to others who are suffering the losses our dstrong daughters have suffered.

Things will get better. Many times there are no answers to that all encompassing 'WHY?'. It's something we just have to accept and try to move forward a little each day.

Please feel freet o contact me directly if I can be of any help. I know how daunting it is to be out here in a public forum, but there are many women who are there for you and your daughter at this difficult time.

You will never forget your angel baby, and you will miss the grandchild who isn't here. And that's OK too.

Wishing you peace, comfort, love and ,

Margaret