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boobookittyx3 |
D&E Experiences. Please share them here... |
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For those who are about to experience a D&E. Please offer your story, suggestions, or any other helpful advice.
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henchperson |
Re: D&E Experiences. Please share them here... | #1 | ||
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My apologies - post removed due to security concerns.
~henchperson
Sometimes it's better to light a flamethrower than curse the darkness. |
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Marian15 |
Re: D&E Experiences. Please share them here... | #2 | ||
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Because of CVS testing I knew early what the diagnosis was. I was 14 weeks along and opted for a D&E. My docter did not do terminations (that was an exact quote) but he was sympathetic. I went through Duke Medical Center where I had done my genetics testing. I didn't know anybody but everybody was very helpful and very sympathetic I was completely out during the procedure which ws my choice. One nurse did ask why I was doing this for personal reasons. I was gratefull that I didn't have to go to an abortion clinic like many women do. Afterwards I physically felt OK and bled little the first few days. Had some serious cramps and gushes of bleeding the next few days. I bled slightly for 3 weeks and I am still waiting fior my period to return (5 weeks aftert procedure). I felt like I should hurt more physically but I thin that was because I felt so guilty and sad. I would suddenlt cry for no reason, at work, home etc. If I wasn't at work I pretty much stayed on the coach and did nothing. I thing mentally it was a lot harder than physically. It was good to be able to come to this site, read books and see that everything I was experiencing was normal. I feel much better now mentally, I am starting to give the sadness a place in my heart.
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sittnpretty143 |
My D & E Experience | #3 | ||
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After a heart breaking meeting with the Dr. our appointment was set for the next day to go ahead with this procedure. My husband and I had been preparing for this emotionally for 3 weeks. I was 18w 4d along the day of. We went to a well know hospital in our state. The Dr said I would take meds before surgery and it would be about a 10-20 min procedure, but of course problems could happen. Well that next day I took the medicine like he told me to, 3 hrs before the surgery, it was a drive for us to get to the hospital, and I had to take the meds in the car on the way. About an hour and half later I felt horrible cramping, it was hard for me to walk. I had to arrive at the hospital 1 1/2 hrs before surgery and wait. They called me back to get prepared and I was assisted by the nurses because of the pains. I got my IV and was walked to the waiting room. My husband and I were so nervous because it seemed everything else was going wrong, and we figured that this would too. All I could think about was I was terminating a life. Even though I knew the was no way possible for my little girl to live. Well Doc was right it was a 20 min procedure. I woke up crying, I cried for an hour. I was bleeding very badly. I was told this is normal. I got sent home within 2 hrs after surgery. The next day all I did was sleep. I was so drained, emotionally and physically. I was in sooooooooooo much pain. I was not bleeding much either. Over the next few days teh bleeding was very minimal, but I was cramping so bad, and my lower back was hurting where my female organs were. Doc said this was normal. I think it was because we expected the worst and this was going to be the worst. All in all, I would say this was an experiance I would not go through again, because I can not tolerate pain.
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Persephone Returns |
Re: My D & E Experience | #4 | ||
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Sittnpretty, I am very sorry to hear that you are in so much pain.
Have you considered joining the private forums here? Complete instructions for doing so can be found here. Persephone
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ElinorBean |
Re: D&E Experiences. Please share them here... | #5 | ||
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Once my dh and I learned of our little "bean's" terrible problems, we scheduled tx for the next morning. The perinatologist made the initial phonecall to arrange the appointment with a clinic he has worked with before (my OB/GYN does not do tx at that stage - I was 17 weeks). The counselors at the clinic were extremely helpful over the phone that afternoon and again in person the next day. Unfortunately, we were expecting a different atmosphere when we walked in to the clinic that next morning. It was very difficult to wait in line to "check in" along with other women who clearly had been there before given their familiarity with the process ... women who I couldn't help but think were terminating unwanted or "accident" pregnancies while my heart was breaking for my sweet baby. Once we checked in and the counselors realized we had arrived, we were sheparded through the process very quickly and led to a private room, for which we were very appreciative. They checked my blood pressure, verified my blood type and then did an ultrasound (to verify size of the baby). We discussed with the counselor options for the remains and we made arrangements with a local funeral director for cremation (we buried our baby a week later in a lovely cemetery in the children's area, called Angels Rest). The counselor gave me a couple of Cytotec pills to soften the cervix and said it should take about 2 hours. She told me to expect cramping and chills. She was definitely right about the chills and cramping, but she didn't mention the nausea, vomiting and diarrhea. I vomited 3 times over the next 5 hours and after each episode, I had to take more Cytotec and wait again. You're instructed to not have anything to eat or drink the entire day so I was very, very dehydrated which also made it difficult to suck on the Cytotec pills as I was so dry. It tasted like you were sucking on paper. The cramps were extremely uncomfortable and, overall, I felt entirely awful. As bad as I felt, I couldn't help but think that it was appropriately terrible - it shouldn't be easy to end a life. Finally, they started an IV to get some fluids into me and then brought me into the OR for the procedure. I was in such a fog even before they administered the anesthesia from all of the emotional trauma and I just cried as they prepped me and put me to sleep. Apparently, the procedure took about 15 minutes total and then about another 20-30 minutes for me to regain consciousness and "recover". The nurses gave me antibiotics and another medication to help shrink the uterus (can't remember the name) and told me to take them for 3 days. I had moderate bleeding immediately following the procedure and the next day. When I got home, I sucked down some Gatorade and went right to sleep for about an hour. I did not have any physical pain once the procedure was over. I did, however, have a broken heart and I wanted to remember as little as possible about that awful day - the worst day of my life - so I threw out every article of clothing that I wore that day, right down to the shoes. I had light bleeding for about two weeks. The other issue that I was not prepared for was the extreme discomfort of my breasts about two days after the procedure. They were very, very tender and swollen, and they leaked - how cruel! After a few days they were o.k., but even now (3 weeks after the tx) I have occasional leakage. It makes me very sad.
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ddmc22 |
Re: D&E Experiences. Please share them here... | #6 | ||
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My D&E experience was very similar to ElinorBean. My Ob did not do the procedure, I had to go to a clinic. The counselors there were very sympathetic and also ushered my dh and me into a room to be by ouselves that first day. I had to have two rounds of laminaria--one on the first day, the next on the second day and the procedure was done on the third day. They suggested anesthesia for the laminaria insertion so I wouldn't have any pain due to this being a first pregnancy. The anesthesia made me vomit on my way home in the car. I was instructed not to eat or drink after midnight for those 3 days. I have to tell you, I was terrified on the day of the procedure. I didn't know how I was going to get through the ordeal. The day of the procedure I had a heavier dose of anesthesia shook for about 2 hours after. I had heavy bleeding that day and regular bleeding for about a week and then it lessened off the second week. I finally got my period after 6 weeks. I had 3 days of medication to help shrink the uterus and I was on antibiotics for 10 days as a precaution. My breasts swelled and started to leak a few days after and stopped after a week. I felt no pain during this ordeal which was good but like someone else has said, ending a life shouldn't be pain free. But there is such emotional pain that continues to come so many weeks and months after. To those of you who are just about to go through this know that there are others that have gone before you and we all sympathize with you and share your loss.
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BubbasNannie |
Re: D&E Experiences. Please share them here... | #7 | ||
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I also had a D&E at 20 weeks. The baby had Turners Syndrome. Which I have found there is not much information out there. Most of what I have found is the same thing over and over. The baby had so many things wrong with her. The only option I had for my own safty was the D&E. I was very lucky my doctor was a personal friend of mine. The only place where I live that does this procedure is in an Abortion clinic. My doctor set everything up for me. And had called ahead and asked them to take very good care of me. The people at the clinic did try to make it easier on me. But, I was a wreck emotionally. The laminaria would not have hurt. But, I was so upset without thinking I was tightening up trying to fight it. The doctor had to keep asking me to relax. I didn't bleed for the 24 hours or did I discharge any benadine. I had a lot of cramping that night. But, it wasn't to bad. No more than a period would be. The next day, I went in and they inserted the pill to dialate me further. I had to lay there for four hours until I was dialated far enough. That cramping was so bad. And when I finally couldn't take it anymore I screamed out the nurse came and checked me and said Yes that I was ready. I cried the whole time. I opted to be completly out. The nursing staff and dr that did the procedure was all very considerate of me and understanding the situation. From the time they put me to sleep till the time that I walked out the door was only a matter of 30 minutes. I felt drowsy when I woke up. But, I wasn't in pain, no cramping, I didn't start bleeding till later that night I started spotting, which as time went on it got heavier. I bled for about a week and a half. The day after the procedure I was sore. Friends and family came to see me. And for instance someone lit a cigarette around me. I went off that they would lite that around my baby. Not realizing I didn't have her anymore. It wasn't till the day after that when I woke up the first thing I did was grab my stomach it was like everything had wore off and I realized that I didn't have her anymore. Almost 3 weeks has passed now. I spent quite a few days in bed crying. But, I seem to be coming around a bit now. Its hard every day just to get out of bed. I miss having her, I miss being pregnant, I miss the hope of everything I wanted to experience with her. I think of her all day every. This has definatly put a emotional strain on me that I don't know if it will ever get better. But, as far as the medical procedure. It wasn't to bad. Mine went very smooth and the pain was tolerable. And I have healed well. The best thing is to try to just relax as much as you can. I hope to meet new people that have shared the same experiences. As well as maybe help someone through their situation. I know it would have helped me to just know anyone who had went through what I was going through.
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tristesse68 |
Re: D&E Experiences. Please share them here... | #8 | ||
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Our son had DS. We agonized over our decision for many days. After we decided, we couldnt get in for an appointment for a WEEK. That was one awful and long week. By the time I had the D&E, I was one or two days shy of 20w gestation. I had a late diagnosis due to having to wait for an amnio.
I went in for the laminaria on a Monday. It was a lot more painful than I expected... both physically and emotionally. My husband and I just froze when we had to sign our son's death certificate while he was still kicking inside of me. After all the paperwork was done the doc left the room for a little bit to let me undress and to give us a few minutes alone. We both just stared at each other and hugged and I cried. When I had to lie on the table and put my feet up the tears were just running down my face. He was sitting next to me, holding my hand, facing away from IT. I have only seen him cry a handful of times so when I saw the tears streaming down his face as well my heart broke twice as bad. I originally planned to go to this appointment by myself. I am so glad I did not. I needed him as much that day as the day of the Tx. I had only mild cramping from this afterwards but nothing ibuprofen couldn't handle. The day in between of waiting was hell. I could still feel my baby moving. I am not very religious, but I prayed all the time for God to please just take my little boy peacefully. When hours went by without movement, I would think maybe my prayers had been answered. But, no. How awful that felt to ask God for his death. But it would have made it an iota easier. On Monday the resident had told me that the pills I would take on Wednesday (the ones that dissolve in your mouth) might cause additional cramping. The day of the procedure I took them, thinking I could then later take some ibuprofen if I got crampy. No one warned me how long they would take to dissolve. I took them 2 hrs before the procedure was scheduled and they were still in my mouth by the time we got to the hospital. By then the pain was almost as bad as labor. I was in agony. We finally got taken back to the outpatient area behind the waiting room. So many people were there for all kinds of things. I wanted to be alone, but all that separated us was a curtain. The nurse gave me some morphine for the pain. I like to think that my little boy just went to sleep then. By now I was just trying to block out of my mind what we were about to do. I almost succeeded, at least for a few minutes. Then they came to get me, and I had to walk to the OR by myself, without my husband. When they opened the door and I saw the table and the stirrups I just started to shake. And bawl. I knew I couldn't turn back now but the finality of it was hitting me like a load of concrete. It's one thing to decide to end your baby's life; it's another entirely to do it. The doc held my hand as I went under. The procedure lasted about 30 minutes. Then they took me to a post-op room for about another 20. I was alone. I woke up crying. All that came out of my mouth was "I just wanted a baby!" crying and sobbing. I felt so out of control. There were two nurses, and one of them came up to me and said that she had had to Tx due to severe birth defects. I was still really out of it. I wished then I could have talked to her. She was so sweet and I needed to hear that. I was in recovery for 5 or 6 hours. I had asked the doc for a private room on Monday; she was able to give me that. Thank God. There were several other women there from the lobby of Mondays visit. I couldnt look at them. I knew what they had decided to do, too. I went home and slept. I felt OK the rest of that day, but the next day I was very sore in every muscle in my body. My throat felt odd from having been intubated as well. Some memories of this day were SO vivid to me for weeks afterward (it has now been almost 4 months since the D&E). That has faded some. For awhile it was really hard to shake them, though, especially my first sight of the OR. I know this doctor does these procedures on a Monday/Wednesday schedule. I dont think about it every week anymore, but some Mondays and Wednesdays I wonder what poor soul is suffering through this now. If you are going to go through this, I am very deeply sorry. My best advice is to have good support with you for EVERYTHING. My husband was supportive; if yours is not take a good girlfriend, your mom, whatever applies. Try to find a doctor who is empathetic and compassionate. Make sure you TAKE PAIN KILLERS before you go in for the procedure, before you put in those awful chalky tablets. Be wary that you will still be hormonal. Very hormonal. Afterwards I felt like an animal in heat; I didnt want to be pregnant, I needed to be pregnant. More so than ever in my life, even when we were trying to conceive #1. I also had strong urges to breastfeed, which was unexpected and hard to deal with. That was all somewhat overwhelming, but faded after a couple of weeks. The pain of losing my son has not really ebbed much; the painful memories of that day are starting to. Keep that in mind as well. Excuse the long post. It feels oddly relieving to put this down in writing. |
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familybeauty |
Re: D&E Experiences. Please share them here... | #9 | ||
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Hi there. I am new here and just waiting for acceptance into the private forums. I have been lurking here on and off since I was introduced to this website. I feel so comforted to know all of you exist.
My D&E was just one week ago today, 4/07/06...... We found out definatively of the CVS results on a Tuesday. By Thursday I was to have the lameneria procedure done. I was worried how I would feel after this procedure and then having to wait a full day into night for the actual D&E. I was worried it was going to feel like full on labour. On Thursday, DH had gone in and the Dr. and nurse were both so wonderful. As great as one can be in a situation such as this. I layed back and wondered how painful it was going to be. Surprisingly, physically ithe lameneria was not as bad as I had anticipated. I went throught the CVS procedure, which I found to be excrutiatingly painful....of course, I could not take anything for the pain then. Prior to the lameneria, though, I was able to take 2-3 Motrin, which I believe helped immensely, physically and emotionally to relax a bit. Anyway, I had 3 inserted and was told that it would feel like I had a tampon in, just out of place a bit. I continued with the motrin right up until 12midnight before the procedure. I woke up the next morning w/ a lot of rectal pressure and it really did remind me of the early stages of labour. My lower back was killing me and I knew my cervix had dialated a lot and at that point, I really couldn't wait to get to the hospital. I realized I would feel all of this uncomfortableness up until they put me under. I had gone in with DH- who has been a rock and so strong and loving and supportive through all of this-and I had the D&E done at aroung 10:30am.... I was under general anesthesia and woke up a bit later with no physical pain, just some mild cramping and I was very tired. I was also worried about how my DH would see me after the procedure. Would he look at me different, would he love me less? Luckily, we discussed all of this before hand and we both felt confident in our love and in our decision. I was still in recovery and I saw his face. He said "hey, honey...you did great. The dr. said everything went well, and the lameneria helped SO MUCH.....I love you and you are beautiful" I get choked up about the love I feel and have felt for my DH throughout this dificult time and beyond. I have so much love and respect for him as a person, and as a man and I feel so lucky with that. He told me later that I did not throw up (which I usually do w/anesthesia), and that the Dr. said the D&E lasted about 15 minutes or so. Physically I am healing well. I am exactly 7 days past the D&E and I am just spotting slightly now. I do find though that my body feels as if it is in this backwards time warp. I feel my uterus almost has deflated--and I have trouble urinating somewhat. I feel my chest going down--they were VERY engorged for a few days after the procedure. They are less heavy and tend to not be as hard. I am getting the leg cramps that I had in my 9th and 10th weeks. I feel some constipation that I had in my wks early on. My gums are swollen and I am getting some headaches. It seems as if my body is literally reversing the process of pregnancy. And it is....it's just so bizarre to be here physically. Emotionally, I was wondering when and if the bottom is going to drop out on me....it hasn't yet. I hope I stay as stable as I feel today. am not crying uncontrollably or shaking in a corner, which is how I pictured how I would deal with this......it's still early, but I do hope that my mind stays where it needs to keep me in a positive and productive state of mind. I had felt almost a sense of relief when the procedure was done....to not feel trapped inside a body that no matter what....no matter how well I ate or exercized or how much I prayed----this baby would not get any better...that I was free from the "emotional purgatory" that I was in. I felt guilty at first when I felt this....but after much discussion w/DH and w/ my drs.....this is a very normal and appropriate reaction to an absolutely heartwrenching position. I feel like because we had a few weeks to have all of this info absorb-and we knew how high the chances were even before the CVS results came in.....that DH and I and our daughter had a good amount of time to grieve. We keep talking about it and that has helped tremendously. The one thing that I realized though, is that many women here seem to have known or chose to know the sex of the baby before the tx. DH and I did NOT want to know the sex of the baby, although we were asked if we wanted to know when the CVS results came in. I wonder if anyone else did not choose to know the sex before the tx?? Sorry so long......this is all so fresh for us. Thanks for listening. Rebecca Rebecca (32)
Anthony (30) Ella (8) |
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familybeauty |
Re: D&E Experiences. Please share them here... | #10 | ||
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I forgot to say that I was 13 wks 6days on the day of my D&E.
Rebecca Rebecca (32)
Anthony (30) Ella (8) |
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azmuse |
Re: D&E Experiences. Please share them here... | #11 | ||
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Weird, I don't remember what I wore that day.
The day earlier I had to rush around getting blood work done and signing papers and felt as if I was in this complete wind tunnel or something where everything was rushing by and people weren't really people but we were all actors in a horrible, macabre play. It took forever to wait for the laminaria insertion and I'd already received instructions for the next day upstairs. I kept wanting to run out and I think I would have except I was convinced by then that I was doing the right thing (except that I still kept thinking "maybe maybe maybe not..."). The doctor who inserted the laminaria was one who I saw when in the hospital and he was very nice, less stern than I'd seen him before, and the nurse was amazing. She held my hand and told me that she'd had lost her little ones, too. I visited her later, she meant so much to me and I couldn't have gotten through this without her. The US was on and I watched and was crying and then my bf's mom came to get me and take me home (he was at work and I told him not to come with me that day) and I collapsed into her arms with my pants half on and wished I could somehow escape living through the next day (Dec. 29). She's a bereavement counselor and used to work as an L&D nurse and was so completely loving and I felt a little bit okay with her, she was very strong and I was glad she wasn't a bit judgemental because she's not even pro-choice. I went home feeling terrified about what I'd done. I hated myself for having a beautiful baby who couldn't survive with the laminaria inside me and only had one day left and didn't know it. Early the next afternoon I went into the city and the laminaria came out when I went to use the loo and to change into my gown. I don't remember that hurting, but usually I can take a lot of pain. An aide tried to be helpful and tell me God does this for a reason and I would have others and I didn't feel like telling her that it would be insane to try again and besides she was being so nice. The main doctor was triple-board certified and she's made me (and lots of other women) in the high-risk maternity ward cry, but she was very nice to me that day and said she was sure my family and friends would be happy to have me around that much longer. My doctors gave me hugs and the anaestesiologist was chipper yet understand and I tried to be pleasant to them because I knew they really had my best interests at heart and really cared although inside I had this feeling that I wouldn't ever want to be me again (that lasted for a long time, one to one and a half months maybe). Oh, they drew the curtains around me so I would have privacy while they talked with me and I cried and at some point the meds started going in and they wheeled me into the OR. I asked as I was rolled there and into it "Is this the part that I heard I probably won't remember?" and was told yes, and I said I would make absolutely sure to remember it (which I do). After I woke up the first thing I asked was "I'm not pregnant anymore?" and the nurse said no. I'm not sure why I had to ask. As if something would have gone wrong and they would have been unable to operate. I was tired and sad. Not in pain, just - wafting and empty. As if there were no reason really to continue. Maybe that was the drugs. My bf was coming into the hall as I was wheeled out of the recovery room and we really didn't talk. I think it was the first time in my life when there was absolutely no reason to talk and nothing to say and it was as quiet as if the world had ended. I hope she knows how much I love her. G-d I feel terrible. I hope I haven't been writing too much lately... Thanks for letting me ramble. -Asha I forgot to mention the reason for termination - spilling 3-4+ protein, high blood pressure, acute kidney failure. The doctors were afraid I'd have a stroke or a heart attack especially as she'd only begun to make pee and my body was already unable to filter it. Plus they thought I might have to deliver at 24 weeks or so and oh, sheesh. I'm going to shut up now...that old question "what if I could have held out for 6 more weeks" thing. |
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no1sassy |
D&E | #12 | ||
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I had a D&E on 5/1 Baby was 16 weeks, cystic hygroma, fetal hydrops and trisomy 21. Luckily a local hospital was able to do the procedure. The procedure was very straight forward, took some pills 2 hours prior to surgery, went to sleep and woke up crying when it was all over. I had to sign a release stating that the "products of the pregnancy" belonged to the hospital. When I woke, I asked the nurse if they were going to do an autopsy and after she said "yes" I just asked that they please not hurt her, as she was so small. Perhaps I will ask my doctor when I go for my follow up about the autopsy results, perhaps not. In any event, I did not suffer much bleeding or any cramping and after about 1 week, my body has shrunk down to size. I miss my baby girl terribly and I don't think that that feeling will ever go away, but I take comfort in the fact that she will never know any pain or suffering and she is in a safe place with my long deceased mother. My husband and I are going to try again, but I know any future pregnancy will not be carefree as this one was, that is up until the time we got the horrible diagnosis. To anyone who is reading this post, I am sorry for the situation you are in. May time bring you peace and healing.
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lilsmom |
Re: D&E | #13 | ||
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My story...includes d&e info:
First let me say that as soon as we learned we were finally pregnant, we decided that we would not have any invasive testing done. We had been TTC for a LONG time and didn't want to risk miscarriage for a diagnosis that we would not be able to change or fix anyway. Termination wasn't in our vocabulary. We agreed to ultrasounds for peace of mind and because we loved seeing our baby develop. It's strange how reality changes your decisions on these matters. We found out @ 13wks during the NT screen ultrasound that our baby had a probability for Down Syndrome (missing nasal bone, increased NT thickness, abnormal blood flow). Our world changed in that moment & we were devasated as we researched what our precious baby's life might be like, especially past childhood. We waited 2 days for the maternal blood serum test that came back w/ elevated HCG @ 99.9% for DS. Then another 5 days to have a CVS @ 14 wks to definitely tell us. (They would've done an amnio, but the placenta membranes weren't fused fully yet, so the CVS was safer at that point). 2 days later the rush FiSH test confirmed DS & that our baby was a little girl. After prayers, medical research, reading, genetic, pastoral & marital counseling, we made the heartbreaking choice to terminate and awaited the final CVS results the following week that would allow our doctors to proceed. I was then scheduled to have the cardiac injection done at the perinatalogist the morning after the results were received @ 15 wks. Knowing what day the results were expected to arrive, I took the day off from work and spent it doing things w/ my baby girl (we named Anna). We read, sat outside and watched the birds, ate PB&J, painted daffodils and watched the sunset. Although I was sad, I'll always cherish that perfect & last day that I spent pregnant with her. We asked to have the hospital chaplain meet with us just prior to the injection procedure. The injection procedure was very difficult for many reasons, but I know we made our decision out of love. I don't know how available these injections are to most people before d&e's, but it was the right thing for us and also my GYN wouldn't do the d&e without having this done prior. Although the injection procedure stopped her heart and was the most difficult event I've experienced in my life both emotionally and physically (because of what was happening not because of physical pain), I would still recommend it over having a d&e alone, when & if possible. I will say that it was agonizing and it took longer than I had anticipated 10-15 min maybe, but felt like 30 min. It's done like an amnio (through the abdomin). After the Dr. performed it, she said she was sorry for our loss. It was surreal and I'll never forget it. I held a cross in my hand during the procedure and have worn it every day since. It gives me comfort to have it with me - a symbolic bridge to our baby girl. The D&E was scheduled for the following day, but ended up being delayed a week because of conflicting feelings we had about the d&e vs. a labor/delivery because of what would happen to her body during the d&e procedure. Frankly the GYN in the practice that performs the d&e's refused to do it the following day because I didn't want her body to be harmed - he said I needed more time to decide on the right method for us and to come to terms with what would be medically necessary. It's so hard to going from protecting your baby every second to making these AHC decisions. Although we ultimately decided not to deliver her body, I felt like I was able to hold her within me during that week and concentrated on sending affectionate feelings to her. I did light house & yard work, went to the park etc., but I was in a twilight realm of life & of my pregnancy. I miss that I never held her in my arms and wonder if I made the right decision about not going through the labor process so that I could see & hold her. Even now I still sleep with my hand on my stomach like she's still there. The day prior to the d&e I went to my GYN for the laminaria placement to dilate my cervix. I took 2 Advil 1/2 hr before my appt. The placement was like a very uncomfortable pap, but quick & not too bad. I had cramping that they said would get better...unfortunately for me it didn't! It got worse. Within 3 hours I couldn't take the severe cramping & cervical pain. I felt nauseous & dizzy from it and called my dr for a Rx pain reliever w/ codine. I can't imagine how I would've been able to handle the pain had my husband not left work to pick up that rx. Not everyone experiences pain to this degree, but I would recommend requesting an Rx before the doctor's offices close for the day just in case! I tried to be brave and just endure it for the first couple of hours, thinking it was part of the process, but I'm glad I called and asked for help. The D&E @ 16 wks was difficult, but I'm lucky that it was done at a local large hospital and I had very competent & compassionate care. (I also had a D&C for a miscarriage in 2004 & it was similar to that.) Iv's, general anesthesia, meds to help w/ nausea. I listened to my ipod - soothing piano music to help with my nerves before I went under. After the surgery I requested the hospital chaplain and we said a prayer and blessing for our daughter's remains. They brought the container, covered in a blue hospital towel, to my bed in recovery. While I was extremely anguished over all that had happened and still very groggy from the drugs, that little ceremony we had for her body gave me great comfort. I also know that the hospital placed a baby blanket and small teddy bear next to her container. Little sweet gestures like that really help me feel better too. My physical recovery lasted about 4 days. Day 1, I was mainly tired & slept. I bled similar to a light/moderate period. On day 2 & 3, every muscle in my body ached like I had been hit by a bus, but I could get around the house okay (mainly it was my neck, back, calves). I took some of my rx pain meds. By day 4, I could move around without as much soreness and had stopped taking meds. I began then to feel the acute pain of grief. Starting day 5, I went back to work for 1/2 days for the remaining of that week and full time since then. I would've liked to have stayed home longer, but I was out of paid sick leave and didn't want to go on disability. We've since had her remains cremated and her cremains are now home with us, almost a month to the day as our initial NT Ultrasound. We are still deciding how we will memorialize her and where the final resting place for her ashes will be. I will never fully recover from this emotionally. It's very hard, but I have good support. I wish you much comfort if you are facing this decision yourself. There's no easy decision when you are facing poor prenatal dx, we can only do our best to decide what we feel is ultimately best for our children. |
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help49 |
Re: D&E Experiences. Please share them here... | #14 | ||
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My D&E was 2 weeks ago but still seems so vivid. I was 16 weeks pregnant and our baby was diagnosed with Trisomy 21. I had an IV pain medication during the procedure but was very awake and remember all of it. Was anyone else awake during their procedure? I think it really added to my misery remembering the sounds and feeling of my baby being removed.
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momtoNora |
Re: D&E Experiences. Please share them here... | #15 | ||
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Help 49 wrote:
I had an IV pain medication during the procedure but was very awake and remember all of it. Was anyone else awake during their procedure? I think it really added to my misery remembering the sounds and feeling of my baby being removed. Yeah. I've written about this before, but I was awake, too. It was due to an anesthesia problem. During my D&E the surgeon perforated my uterus and had to perform emergency abdominal surgery (laparoscopy) to repair the damage. During the emergency lap, my blood pressure dropped badly, and that forced the anesthesiologist to lighten the drugs to keep my heart going. I woke up on the OR table after that. I could feel the instruments in my belly. My abdomen burned with the pain. I knew that something went wrong with the D&E if they were cutting me. But I couldn't say anything or move, because I was still paralyzed with a tube down my throat. Breathing through a tube is very uncomfortable (which is why they usually sedate people on ventilators) so I felt like I was suffocating, and I was absolutely sure that I must be dying. I remember frantically thinking of my husband in the waiting room and being so sad that he had no idea I was dying. I also thought of my toddler and felt such horrible anguish. It was the most terrifying, awful experience of my life. The first month afterwards I barely dealt with my grief over the loss of the baby because I was having anxiety attacks and insomnia problems due to the anesthesia awareness. It made everything that much harder to get through. Erin |
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help49 |
Re: D&E Experiences. Please share them here... | #16 | ||
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Erin,
What a terrible experience! I can't begin to imagine how scarey it would be to be paralyzed but aware I was on a ventilator and was undergoing surgery. That was a crazy combination of unfortunate events and I am sooo sorry you experienced it and the loss of your baby also. With a history of uterine perforation, are you allowed to conceive again? Please say yes. I only had IV meds, no ventilator because it was done in an office, not an OR. There was no anesthesiologist so all I could safely have were light doses of pain and anxiety meds. I cried during the entire D&E and it was quite uncomfortable. Very glad it's over. Kristie |
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momtoNora |
Re: D&E Experiences. Please share them here... | #17 | ||
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Hi Kristie,
Luckily the uterine perf didn't effect my ability to conceive another baby. But because of the location of the scar, my uterus is weakened, and so I won't be able to go through labor ever again. The chance of uterine rupture is pretty high with full-on contractions. But in practical terms, that just means that if I'm lucky enough to go to term with another pregnancy, I'll be monitored closely in the third trimester and have a planned c section before labor naturally starts. I am very sorry to hear that you were able to recall parts of your D&E. That makes the experience so much harder to get past. Is it because you had it done at a clinic that the anesthesia was so minimal for you? There are some experiences that are so emotionally searing, that the best option probably to avoid feeling them. I hope you are doing ok. Take care, Erin |
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help49 |
Re: D&E Experiences. Please share them here... | #18 | ||
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Erin,
Because my D&E was done at a clinic rather than an OR, they could only do light medications for saftey reasons. I would have preferred not remembering the sounds and feelings of the procedure but I guess saftey should be the priority. I am glad to hear the uterine perforation will not prevent you from trying to conceive again. Good luck!!!!! Kristie |
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jess311 |
Re: D&E Experiences. Please share them here... | #19 | ||
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Wow Kristie,
My D&E was done at a clinic and I was out cold. Sorry you weren't. Jess
Hailey 3/11/05 t-13 m/c 4/21/06 |
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Boobah2 |
Re: D&E Experiences. Please share them here... | #20 | ||