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What books did you find helpful after your loss?
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 boobookittyx3 |
What books did you find helpful after your loss? |
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AHC Veteran
Posts: 1796 03/11/06 12:27 Moderator |
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 Ayliea |
Re: What books did you find helpful after your loss? | #1 | ||
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AHC Veteran
Posts: 6527 03/11/06 04:55 Adminstrator |
I am an avid reader and found these books helpful in coping with ahc:
"When Bad things happen to Good people" by Harold S. Kushner, "Empty Cradle, Broken Heart" by Deborah L, Davis, "Peace is every step" by Thich Nhat Hanh. For trying again: "Trying Again" by Ann Douglas and John R Sussman, "What to do when you can't get Pregnant" by Daniel A Potter and Jennifer S. Hanin, "Conquering Infertility" by Alice Domar and this one for sure if you are into alternative medicine or Traditional Chinese Medicine - "The Infertility Cure" by Randine Lewis. Also, for those (such as myself) struggling with religious issues "Living Buddha, Living Christ" is a very good read. Hope this helps - there are lots of other good books for coping with loss, but to be honest, most just barely touch on the subject of Tx for medical reasons. I do know that there are a couple of people that are interested in writing about our ahc losses - I hope they stop by say "Hi", since I feel that a book that deals specifically with our type of loss is much needed. Many blessings and best wishes to all who have traveled this rough road. Ayliea |
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jore29 |
Re: What books did you find helpful after your loss? | #2 | ||
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AHC Veteran
Posts: 5942 03/11/06 05:08 Admin |
This is a work of fiction, and not a self-help kind of book, but I find great comfort and interest in reading Doris Lessing's "The Fifth Child", even though it sends shudders down my spine each time I read it. The extreme havoc that having a severely disabled child wreaks on the close-knit family in this book is a sobering experience. The family is wrenched apart and does not survive as a unit because of the severe stress put upon the mother in taking care of the youngest child who cannot and will not ever be able to comprehend, mentally or emotionally, the love that he is actually receiving from her.
Not for the weak of heart. JoRe |
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Persephone Returns |
Re: What books did you find helpful after your loss? | #3 | ||
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AHC Veteran
Posts: 2349 03/11/06 10:59 Administrator |
I liked A Mother's Dilemma by Wendy S. Lyon. It was written by a women who'd actually made a heartbreaking choice. She delves into all of the issues she dealt with, but does not focus on (or even disclose, if memory serves) her baby's specific diagnosis. That turns out to be a good thing, because she keeps the focus on the feelings AHC brings out in everyone who goes through it.
Persephone
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stopi |
Re: What books did you find helpful after your loss? | #4 | ||
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AHC Veteran
Posts: 240 03/13/06 10:57 AHC Veteran |
"Empty Cradle, Broken Heart" by Deborah Davis is a wonderful book.
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kgcitygal |
Re: What books did you find helpful after your loss? | #5 | ||
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AHC Veteran
Posts: 5367 03/13/06 12:39 |
I have read and recommend:
"A Time to Decide, A Time to Heal" by Molly A. Minnick, et al; targeted to tx, I bought through a used bookseller on amazon and I have read it virtually cover-to-cover several times. "A Silent Sorrow" by Ingrid Kohn, et al "How to Survive the Loss of a Child" by Catherine Sanders "Living When a Loved One Has Died" by Earl A. Grollman On deciding to try again: "Trying Again : A Guide to Pregnancy After Miscarriage, Stillbirth, and Infant Loss" by Ann Douglas, et al "Pregnancy after a Loss: A Guide to Pregnancy after a Miscarriage, Stillbirth or Infant Death" by Carol Cirulli Lanham I have not read this but it was recommended to read by my counselor: "Empty Cradle, Broken Heart" by Deborah L. Davis Peace to all. Karin |
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henchperson |
Re: What books did you find helpful after your loss? | #6 | ||
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AHC Veteran
Posts: 1131 03/15/06 11:30 Don't Mess With Me |
I didn't read any books on grief. I couldn't bring myself to do it. Instead, I escaped into historical fiction and it was the weirdest thing. It helped. Reading about women who'd been through nine pregnancies and had one living child or watched all of their children die as infants because of diseases like measles made me feel....I don't know. Less alone. It reminded me that this has always happened. It's no less tragic for every one of us, but it was comforting for me to realize that women have been grieving for lost children as long as they've been having children.
My counselor has me reading a book right now called "Fearless Living" that's helping me address why I deal with things the way I do, why my first reaction to a sad situation is always anger and not sadness, etc. I'd recommend it, but only when your grief is a little more muted - it's not an appropriate book for the newly bereaved. ~henchperson
Sometimes it's better to light a flamethrower than curse the darkness. |
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cprince02 |
Re: What books did you find helpful after your loss? | #7 | ||
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Newcomer
Posts: 13 03/23/06 01:48 Newcomer |
I also liked "Empty Cradle, Broken Heart". www.amazon.com/gp/product...oding=UTF8
That was a real good one that I couldn't put down shortly after my loss. And it was helpful for several months afterwards too since it had chapters on ttc again and dealing with subsequent pregnancies. Another one that I found helpful was "Empty Arms" by Pam Vredevelt. www.amazon.com/gp/product...oding=UTF8 I found it in a Christian bookstore (I don't regularly shop there but I was looking for a b-day gift for my born-again father). And while the book obviously wasn't written for women in our situations who voluntarily ended a pregnancy I still found most of the book to be applicable to us. It also included a section on the spiritual battles that go on in your mind after losing a baby, such as "Am I being punished by God?", "Was this a test by God that I failed?", and "Why did this happen to me?". I found it to be very helpful with my spiritual healing. C |
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Dana |
Re: What books did you find helpful after your loss? | #8 | ||
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AHC Veteran
Posts: 1632 03/23/06 02:41 AHC Veteran |
whoops!
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Dana |
Re: What books did you find helpful after your loss? | #9 | ||
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AHC Veteran
Posts: 1632 03/23/06 02:43 AHC Veteran |
Let me guess Hench, could you be talking about The Other Boleyn Girl? That was a great HF book that covered quite a few of those kinds of pregnancies
My recommendation is The Year of Magical Thinking by Joan Didion. Great, great memoir. |
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cprince02 |
Re: What books did you find helpful after your loss? | #10 | ||
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Newcomer
Posts: 13 04/11/06 04:36 Newcomer |
Bump
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LooneyTunesToo |
Re: What books did you find helpful after your loss? | #11 | ||
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Newcomer
Posts: 19 10/04/06 08:10 Newcomer |
Bump
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jayceebea |
Re: What books did you find helpful after your loss? | #12 | ||
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Posts: 6 10/19/06 02:43 Newcomer |
We liked
A Silent Sorrow: Pregnancy Loss - Guidance and Support for You and Your Family Amazon Link www.amazon.com/Silent-Sor...F8&s=books |
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mc4107 |
Re: What books did you find helpful after your loss? | #13 | ||
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Posts: 13 10/23/06 10:23 Newcomer |
I also read "Empty Arms" by Pam Vredevelt and found it helpful, although it is not specifically for mothers who have made ahc. I read "I'll Hold You In Heaven" by Jack Hayford and found it VERY comforting even though, again, it does not specifically target tx for medical reasons. The author has some very compassionate answers for the questions I think we all have, using a Christian approach. I would really like to read something that addresses our unique dilemna and loss but haven't found anything yet.
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Ayliea |
Re: What books did you find helpful after your loss? | #14 | ||
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AHC Veteran
Posts: 6527 07/02/07 09:48 Adminstrator |
Bump
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adyson07 |
Re: What books did you find helpful after your loss? | #15 | ||
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AHC Veteran
Posts: 1156 07/03/07 09:33 AHC Veteran |
Two books that I found very helpful to me where:
A Time to Decide, A Time to Heal This book has lots of stories from other moms who have been there and were forced with the decision to make an ahc. Safe in the Arms of God. This is a book that has a religious undertone, but it helped me to understand that my baby was not suffering and was perfect, whole and safe in the arms of god. It helps to answer those "why" questions from a christian perspective. Wishing you much healing and peace. Charity |
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SarahBirdsMom |
Re: What books did you find helpful after your loss? | #16 | ||
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AHC Veteran
Posts: 374 07/23/07 07:17 AHC Veteran |
A counselor recommended an excellent book to me about grief in general (not just AHC) but it did contain some pregancy stories and has been very helpful. It's "To Begin Again" by Naomi Levy. She happens to be a female Rabbi, so it addresses spirituality as well as the grief process. I got it from Amazon.com.
Best wishes to all, SBM |
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Nature2317 |
Re: What books did you find helpful after your loss? | #17 | ||
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Posts: 2 07/24/07 11:03 Newcomer |
From a Male's point of view I thought the book " When Men Grieve" by Elizabeth Levang, Ph.D. was excellent. I highly recommend it.
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babysugar1 |
Re: What books did you find helpful after your loss? | #18 | ||
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AHC Veteran
Posts: 639 07/26/07 09:02 AHC Veteran |
A book I found very comforting and still find comforting to read is "Mommy please don't cry, there are no tears in Heaven". It is short book that is written and illustrated as a children's book. It also has a journal in the back to help you work through your feelings. I highly recommend it.
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sidneysmaman |
#19 | |||
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AHC Veteran
Posts: 110 06/29/08 09:44 |
I really liked "Help, Comfort and Hope after losing your baby in pregnancy or the first year", by Hananh Lothrop (Fisher Books).
The author has made a AHC, so she really knows what she is talking about. The book is also about holistic approaches to grief, meditation, Bach flowers, therapy by the arts, etc... It has good questions to ask yourself to progress in the griving process. Take care, everyone. Sophie. |
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LeLe |
#20 | |||
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AHC Board Regular
Posts: 9 06/29/08 02:33 |
Right now I'm reading Unspeakable Losses: Healing from Miscarriage, Abortion, and Other Pregnancy Loss. It deals with the psychological aftermath
of different types of pregnancy loss, including a chapter on AHC. Amazon link:
http://www.amazon.com/Unspeakable-Losses-Miscarriage-Abortion-Pregnancy/dp/068817390X/ref=pd_bbs_sr_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1214771261&sr=8-1 Lauren |
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- Joining AHC
- Out in the Open
- Grandparents' Discussion Area
- Discussions/Links to Pro-Choice Election Information
- A Heartbreaking Choice - Main Private Forum
- Subsequent Losses
- Spirituality & Religion After AHC
- AHC Personal Stories
- The Dads' Forum
- Trying To Conceive
- Conception Issues
- Subsequent Pregnancy Discussion
- Adoption Issues
- Parenting After AHC
- New Arrivals: Our Post-AHC Babies
- Life After AHC
- The Porch
- Child-Free/Done with Childbearing
- Pro-Choice Discussion
- Forty Plus General Chatter
- Help Files
- Administration Discussion
