My wife and i waited before attempting to have children. She is 38. When we finally got pregnant we pinned all our hopes and dreams for the future on our
baby. We began buying books and a crib and my wife's baby shower was on the calendar. We had an amnio and everything appeared normal.
on the 28th week we had a sonogram. suddenly everything went wrong. a long string of doctors came and went peering into the computer to look at the sonogram - and something seemed wrong.
our baby's arms and legs had stropped growing at 23 weeks. her head's growth had accelerated to 31 weeks. the dianosis was achondroplasia - dwarfism - with a very severe outlook for spinal abnormalities - neural damage - possible mental imparement - a very high mortality rate - and a buildup of amniotic fluid (nearly twice the expected level) that was putting my wife's health at risk.
we decided to terminate the pregnancy only to discover the only two clinics in the US could perform the procedure. on top of heartache and trauma we were forced to board a plane to Colorado to endure a week of hell - culminating in a physically and emotionally traumatice experience for my wife.
my wife is now suicidal. i sense a part of her is gone. her eyes are empty. she must be heavily sedated to keep her stable. her therapist and psychiatrist are trying their best - but it feels hopeless. i live with the constant fear that i will one day find her dead in our bed or bathtub. we are alone. no family.
i am living in constant fear. i do not know how to reach her. i can see her functionality seeping away. she vacilates between deep depression, hysteria, anger and 'shut down mode' where she crawls into a shell and disappears.
i am very very scared.
on the 28th week we had a sonogram. suddenly everything went wrong. a long string of doctors came and went peering into the computer to look at the sonogram - and something seemed wrong.
our baby's arms and legs had stropped growing at 23 weeks. her head's growth had accelerated to 31 weeks. the dianosis was achondroplasia - dwarfism - with a very severe outlook for spinal abnormalities - neural damage - possible mental imparement - a very high mortality rate - and a buildup of amniotic fluid (nearly twice the expected level) that was putting my wife's health at risk.
we decided to terminate the pregnancy only to discover the only two clinics in the US could perform the procedure. on top of heartache and trauma we were forced to board a plane to Colorado to endure a week of hell - culminating in a physically and emotionally traumatice experience for my wife.
my wife is now suicidal. i sense a part of her is gone. her eyes are empty. she must be heavily sedated to keep her stable. her therapist and psychiatrist are trying their best - but it feels hopeless. i live with the constant fear that i will one day find her dead in our bed or bathtub. we are alone. no family.
i am living in constant fear. i do not know how to reach her. i can see her functionality seeping away. she vacilates between deep depression, hysteria, anger and 'shut down mode' where she crawls into a shell and disappears.
i am very very scared.
