My dh and I have two beautiful, healthy boys, and I am 19 weeks pg with boy #3, who we just found out last Thursday has Down's...we have opted to
terminate, and I am scheduled for a D&C on Wednesday morning...I feel like I have no one to talk to, as I don't want to be ostracized for making this
choice...I don't think anyone can judge until they've been there, but unfortunately, people do.
0 Kudo
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new here...wish I didn't have to be here... :(
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 shamlin4 |
new here...wish I didn't have to be here... :( |
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Posts: 1 03/17/08 08:53 |
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saudieboy |
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AHC Veteran
Posts: 283 03/17/08 09:07 AHC Veteran |
hi i'm really sorry you have to be here - but glad you found this site - it can really be a life saver, chatting with people that have endured this
incredible heartache. telling people or not telling people the truth is something so many of us struggle with, but i've come to the conclusion that even if
they did know the whole truth, they still wouldn't understand the extent of our grief and love for our babies. i hope everything goes smoothly with the
d&c and that you are treated with respect & compassion. please let us know how you are doing & come to the private forum. sending you peace &
love during this horribly sad & difficult time a'ishah
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rbconley |
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AHC Veteran
Posts: 3 03/24/08 02:32 |
Hi. I'm also new here. We tx on 3/14. I'm sorry you're here. I was wondering how you're doing. I feel numb most of the time. Just
checking in.
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Jodi3336 |
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Newcomer
Posts: 5 04/04/08 07:43 Newcomer |
I've never been good with computers and have never been good at navigating this sight. I think I have joined like 500 times. Reading your posts makes me
remember how truly hard it was right after terminating my pregnancy (6/2007). There were times I didn't think I would live (and didn't want to). Time
will help you heal. It has almost been a year and I feel that I am finally starting to be at a better place. I will always love and miss my baby, but I know
I did the right thing. People wont understand unless they have been through it. Even my husband had no clue. He didn't carry the baby. He couldn't
possibly know how I was feeling. There were times I wanted to divorce him. But we are doing Okay now. If you find yourself feeling that way, remember that
they are "just men". That always seemed to help me. Life sucks and its not fair. You WILL find out who your true friends are. I lost one of my
best friends over this. She couldn't "deal with it"! Not such a great friend after all. The ones that are there for you will be your support
system. And you will find out things about people you never knew. Just wanted to give everyone a hug who has to go through this horrible process.
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MotherEpona |
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AHC Veteran
Posts: 234 04/04/08 10:23 AHC Veteran |
I am sorry you have had to be faced with this very difficult choice. As pp said, people just cannot understand if they haven't been there. The people on this site have been a wonderful comfort to me. I am sure that you can be heard and understood here. Would suggest for you to look into the private forum. Sending strength to you during this difficult time. **Hugs** |
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sadmom74 |
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AHC Veteran
Posts: 7 04/04/08 11:58 |
How sorry I am to hear of your son's dx--it's devastating. I'm glad you found this website--unfortunately, you are not alone.
If you could have told me that at 38 i'd be terminating a pregnancy--I'd have told you you were crazy. If you would have told me that I'd be ok (not great, just ok) I 'd have told you you were just as crazy. My son was dx with trisomy 18 ( back in august of 07). I have 1 son and 2 daughters. The journey runs the deepest of sadness, but somehow you survive. A day doesn't go by where I don't think of him. Many blessings kristin |
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Drehay |
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AHC Board Regular
Posts: 2 04/10/08 02:59 |
Hi Shamlin,
I am new as well - this is my first message. I myself have just gone through a similar and devastating decision - my beautiful and perfect looking baby daughter was born on March 20...it's been 3 weeks since she was born, and 2 weeks and 2 days since she was buried. Her face looked so perfect - but there was so much wrong. She had severe Spina Bifida & severe Hydrocephalus - she didn't stand a chance. I am crying as I write this - but I want you to know that there are a few good moments in my days - as I have a 3 & 1/2 year old little girl to get up for. No one will EVER understand this choice unless they have gone through exactly what you have - so try not to waste your energy on how others feel - heal yourself...that is the hardest, but most important thing to do right now. Take care of yourself. |
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- Joining AHC
- Out in the Open
- Grandparents' Discussion Area
- Discussions/Links to Pro-Choice Election Information
- A Heartbreaking Choice - Main Private Forum
- Subsequent Losses
- Spirituality & Religion After AHC
- AHC Personal Stories
- The Dads' Forum
- Trying To Conceive
- Conception Issues
- Subsequent Pregnancy Discussion
- Adoption Issues
- Parenting After AHC
- New Arrivals: Our Post-AHC Babies
- Life After AHC
- The Porch
- Child-Free/Done with Childbearing
- Pro-Choice Discussion
- Forty Plus General Chatter
- Help Files
- Administration Discussion
